Funny Christmas Status – Hilarious Christmas Wishes Messages

Funny Christmas Status - Hilarious Status Updates For This Occasion

It’s Merry Christmas! Time for unlimited fun and enjoyment. We have nothing but some of the most funny Christmas status to share with you and surely these are the hilarious status to updates your Whatsapp or Facebook status for this happy occasion. Let’s rock the Merry Christmas celebration and share these Funny Christmas Status with friends to make them laugh out louder! Absolutely these funny Christmas status has the cuteness to make anyone lol in the blink of an eye. Scroll down and find out your favorite funny Christmas status and updates your Whatsapp, Facebook or other social media post.

Most Funny Christmas Status For Whatsapp

Merry Kissmyass with lots of hugs.

I’m only a morning person on December 25th.

May your holidays be like Santa – fat, cheerful and abundant!

All I want for Christmas is you… and pizza too.

Greetings from the North Pole! Don’t be shocked… it’s Christmas again!

Dear Santa: How much for your list with all the naughty girls on it?

Got my wife some lovely perfume for Xmas, it’s called Tester… Hope she likes it.

Dear kids, there is no Santa. Those presents are from your parent’s love, Wikileaks.


Handmade Christmas presents are scary because they reveal that you have too much free time.

Christmas is canceled. I told Santa I’ve been good this year. He died laughing.

I knew you were coming so I baked a cake. It was delicious. Happy Christmas!

Dear Santa: this year please give me a big fat bank account and a slim body, and this year doesn’t mix the two up.

Why does Santa Claus go down the chimney on Christmas Eve? Because it soot’s him.

Christmas is a time for remembering family and trying to guess everyone’s sizes! Have a Wonderful Christmas!

How do you know Santa has to be a man? No woman would wear the same outfit year after year.

His name is Clause. Santa Clause. The Force is with him. And he’ll be back!

Funny Christmas Status For Facebook

My neighbor put up his Christmas lights today. I bet he’s pissed that I beat him to it. I put mine up three years ago.

Nothing is sadder than a gift card that says “Cannot be used for the purchase of alcohol”.

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it.

Google should have a Christmas Season Street View that shows houses with Christmas lights.

Choosing someone based on their looks, is like picking a Christmas gift based on the wrapping paper.

What’s red and white and red, red and white, and red and white? Santa Claus rolling down a hill!

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Christmas is the season when you buy this year’s gifts with next year’s money.

I don’t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.

Dear Santa I’ve been good all year! OK, most of the time. I Mean once in a while. Oh…F*ck it, I’ll buy my own sh#t.

If playing the same music constantly is a form of torture, do shops at Christmas torture their employees?

No matter how old you are, an empty Christmas wrapping paper tube is still a fun thing to bonk someone over the head with!

Christmas shopping is done… I got everyone a box with a note in it that reads. “Sorry, the world was supposed to end so I didn’t get you anything. Blame the Mayans!

Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Status For Friends

Let us rejoice and enjoy has lord has given this day to drink as much you want, Happy Christmas!

In case I drink too much and pass out for a while, Merry Christmas you guys.

My Christmas present to all of my friends! I took a naked selfie and deleted it.

To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present…They are due back at the library today.

Your pain is my pains so please don’t do any of the stupid things we usually do; I want to enjoy this Christmas!

I wasn’t planning on giving Christmas gifts this year until I heard about those exploding Samsung G7 Note phones.

Christmas has been canceled! And it’s your fault because I told Santa you had been good and he died laughing!

Christmas is truly full of wonders. It makes all of my savings disappear! That is the Christmas magic Merry Christmas!

A boy writes to Santa asking for a brother and receives a reply back from Santa send me your mother.

I’d like to apologize for getting drunk and making an ass of myself at your Christmas party next week.


I mistakenly wrapped your Christmas present in a paper that says “Happy Birthday”. So I added wording “to Jesus” on it. Merry Christmas!

My goal in 2018 is to accomplish the goals of 2017 which I should have done in 2016 because I made a promise in 2015 and planned in 2014.

May on this Christmas Glow of prosperity and joy of Happiness Fill in your body along with Christmas wine Merry Christmas to you!

I want you to have a safe holiday, so on Christmas morning, Do not stand between the kids and the presents! Merry Christmas!

Any of my friends who believe the “Mayan’s Prediction” please let me know as soon as possible. Your opinion will only be based on this year Christmas gifts. Thanks.

Short Funny Christmas Status & Messages

How do cats greet each other at Christmas? A furry Merry Christmas and Happy Mew Year!

Do not expect Santa they all are Drunk and flat Merry Christmas without gifts!

Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Every time your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.

I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas, Not cause I like snow or anything, I’m just a racist.

Dear Santa, I’m writing to let you know that I’ve been naughty… and it was worth it. You fat, judgmental bastard.

I wish you a White Christmas! But if your White Wine runs out, drink the Red…

I’m pretty sure my Internet Explorer “error reports” end up the same place my letters to Santa do.

I don’t always cut down a fresh Christmas tree..but when I do, I pick the best one from my neighbor’s yard.

Halloween = Candy, Thanksgiving = Food, Christmas = Gifts, New Years = Drinks, Valentines = Sex, Birthdays = ALL OF THE ABOVE!

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I accidentally drank two energy drinks this morning and now my house is decorated for Christmas.

Memo from Santa: Due to the rising cost of coal, this year people on the naughty list will be receiving Nickelback CDs.

A man basically goes through three phases in his life… He believes in Santa Claus…He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus…He is Santa Claus.

Santa won’t be coming this year…He died laughing when you said you’d been a good girl. Have a Merry Christmas.

Dear Santa, If you promise to be nice and give me everything on my list, I promise to give you the antidote to those poisoned cookies you just ate. Thank you!

Hope these Funny Christmas Status will help you to make smile and treat especially your desired person whom you share. Also, you can make update your social network status by these Funny Christmas Status & Short Messages. Wishing you find this Christmas as your best entertainment.