Funny Dirty Status and Short Dirty Quotes – Witty & Hilarious

Gallery of witty & hilarious dirty status, short dirty quotes & funny dirty sayings which is extremely waiting to make anyone LOL who can get it. Sometime we need some dirty status to make fun and surprise our friends and followers. We think it’s a way of recreation and update social profile status by some witty and hilarious dirty status is not too bad. Browse the best dirty status, short dirty quotes, funny status and share them with others, either you can use them as Whatsapp status and Facebook status or Messages.

There are 70 ways to keep a man happy. One is Alcohol..! The rest is 69…..!

Smile… it’s the second best thing to do with your lips.

What do the Chinese call a 69? Twocanchew!

If you`re texting two people at the same time, you are bitextual.

Your lips are like wine & I wanna get drunk.

Triple in the last 5 minutes!!!

I am not Virgin my life FCUK me everyday.

I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes.

If abortion is murder then are condoms kidnapping!

Not all cute guys have girlfriends, most of them have boyfriends.

Why is bra singular and panties plural?

Good girls go to Heaven, bad girls just make you FEEL like you are in Heaven.

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless.

I’m a freelance gynecologist. How long has it been since your last checkup?

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.

Touch it gently, put 2 fingers inside, if it’s wide use 3 fingers, make sure it’s wet and rub up and down. Yep that’s how you wash a cup.

What did right boob say to the left one – you are my “breast friend.”

Creative dirty status for social profile status updates.

Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.

Women only need 3.5 inches to achieve maximum pleasure? it’s called a credit card.

Viagra is now available in powder form to put in your tea. It doesn’t enhance your performance but it does stop your biscuit going soft.

Friendship is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it but only you can feel Its true warmth.

Boobs are like the Sun…you can stare at them directly just for a few seconds. But if you put on sunglasses, stare as much as you want!

Also check : Funny Short Clever Status, Funny Bitchy Status, Best Flirt Status

I want to suck u, lick u. wanna move my tongue all over u… wanna feel u in my mouth… yep, that’s how you…eat an icecream.

My legs are missing you in between them.

I think i should tell you What people are saying behind your back? Nice Ass…

We live in a world where losing your iPhone is more dramatic than losing your virginity.

Women and rocks are very much alike … We skip the flat ones.

I hate sitting in a seat warmed by someone else.

A cute Nurse came for the interview. Dr: What salary U Expect? Nurse: Rs.10,000. Dr was overjoyed and said: My Pleasure. Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000

You can’t be the top dog if you act like a pussy!

I always start writing with a clean piece of paper and a dirty mind.

Don’t call the world dirty because you forgot to clean your glasses.

Smile if you just had a naughty thought… yep, you just smiled!

Woman without curves is like a road without bends…. You may get to your destination quicker, but the ride is boring as hell.

I hate how chocolate immediately melt on my fingers. I mean.. am I that hot?

Girls dont dress for boys, they dress for themselves. If girls dressed for boys, they’d just walk around naked all the time.

In a cramped bus. Lady: Something of yours is touching me. Man: Oh! That’s… that’s just my salary in my pocket. Lady: Did your salary just triple in the last 5 minutes?

Nowadays, legs spread quicker than rumors.

I sent an angel to watch over you last night but he came back saying he can’t watch porn.

Women are like IPhones, you have to touch them all over before they respond. Men are like Blackberrys, rub one ball and everything moves!

I think the woman who invented the phrase “All Men Are The Same” was a chinese woman who lost her husband in the crowd.

Read More 50 Most Funny Whatsapp Status.