135+ Funny New Year Status, Captions & Funny Wishes for 2020

New Year Funny Status : Get ready to make this new year fantastic cause 2020 is a brand new year to celebrate with fun, flirting and a little bit of humor. On this eve of happy new year enjoy and make fun as much as you can! Let us be a part of your fun, take these funny new year status and short funny messages which are enough to make anyone laugh out louder. This funny new year status has a special and magical power that will make your new year celebration more colorful. You may use these funny new year status to update your Whatsapp or Facebook status either can use as text message whatever you like! Also, it’s a way to show your friends your funny new year’s resolutions! Don’t forget to check New Year Status for Facebook and New Year Status for Whatsapp collections. Wishing you have an amazing happy new year.

Funny New Year Status

Happy New Year 2020! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Happy New Year!

Happy new year! How’d it be if instead of bringing happiness, joy, and peace, new year’s brought cash, fame, and champagne?

Funny New Year Wishes Status

I am in touch with 2019. I saw it going by this evening, waving at me and winking. Happy New Year 2020!

Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did throughout the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Happy New Year!

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

Be stupid, be dumb, be funny, if that’s who you are. Don’t try to be someone that society wants you to be; that’s stupid. So be yourself. Happy New Year!

I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me!

It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!

I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!

New Year is like a restart button. Use it to start things over.

I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.

Dear Luck, can we be friends in 2020 Please…

Happy New Year from someone who is Adorable, Handsome and intelligent and wants to see you smiling always.

Life always gives you a second chance, its called Happy New Year.

Every year I make a resolution to Be Myself, but circumstances change me.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never have to commit it.

I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!

This year my resolution is to find out who I am.

Stop checking my status. I don’t post my resolutions here.

May the happiness you get this year to become bigger than your weight…… Happy New Year!

Read books instead of reading my status! Happy new year.

Flip a coin… If the head comes, I am yours, if the tail comes then you are mine. happy new year

My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.

You can do anything, but not everything – Happy New Year 2020.

My wish is that this year you fulfill your New Year’s resolution especially the ones you made at the beginning of last year. Happy New Year!

If nothing changes this New Year to your liking, just change your habit of complaining!

May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!

May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions!

Related : Happy New Year Status Wishes 2020

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

Go ahead make a resolution. It’s not as complicated as pregnancy.

New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies that don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.

Funny New Year Captions

Dear Luck… Can we be friends in 2020?

I’m so excited for 2020! Can’t wait to waste another year.

Dear 2020, make sure you don’t come up with temporary people.

Successfully wasted 365 days of 2019 and here is another sets to go.

I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!

Thanks for not laughing at my absurdly unattainable New Year’s resolutions.

I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser.

The first rule of 2020. never talk about 2019.

I hope one of your New Year’s resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year’s photos.

Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year’s resolution is, She said “F*** you” so I’m pretty excited for 2020.

I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.

What’s your plan for 31st Night? mine is to check all bookmarks I added to my browser in the year 2019.

I can’t believe its been a year since I didn’t become a better person.

Dear God, my prayer for 2020 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did this year.

My new year’s resolution? I’ll probably keep it at 1280 x 1024 like always. thanks for asking.

Hilarious New Year Status

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It’s all funny. Next. Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things. Happy New Year!

I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2019 & a beautiful beginning into 2020!

Funny-New-Year-Status-Images

Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to own it. Happy New Year!

If’ you’re born in September, it’s pretty safe to assume that your parents started their new year with a bang.

I would say Happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.

I think I need a date…only for New Years…

I do not make new year’s resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is awesome, I’m not going to stop that in 2020.

May this New Year bring actual change in you – not recurrence of old habits in a new package.

Tom Cruise, Angelina Jolie, Aishwarya Rai, Salman Khan, Jennifer Lopez, Amitabh Bachchan and Me. All the stars wish you a very Happy New Year.

New year is the time of the year when you tell stupid people how good they are!

Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”

I would say Happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.

My new years resolution is 1920 x 1080.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. Happy new year!

This Year I wish you make fewer resolutions to give up drinking. Happy New Year!

New Year is not a life-changing event. You just change your resolutions.

If you were born in September, it is better to assume that your parents started their new year successfully.

Currently taking applications for my new years kiss…

I’m hiring a boyfriend for New Year’s Eve… if I’m single.

For my new year’s resolution I will work with neglected children. (my own)

It’s time to start the new year. Let’s chill some champagne, whip up some party food, and start dancing the year away.

May this New Year, you get blessed with fifty-two weeks and twelve months of happiness and never-ending joy.

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each New Year find you a better man.

I have got the best business idea of 2020, I’m going to start Facebook and WhatsApp rehab centers throughout the country.

My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

I’m a holiday virgin: -Never had a New Years kiss. -Never had a Valentines Day kiss. -Never had a Valentine.

More New Year Status : New Year Whatsapp Status 2020

The problem with new years resolutions is that people aim too high, start small like…”I’m not going to fart in church.”

This year my New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘Secrets out!’ after I ejaculate.

This New Year, may you handle yourself with your brains, but comfort others with your heart.

Short Funny New Year Status

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.

Dear 2019, I’m glad you’re Over. Welcome, 2020!

New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!

Life is funny. If you don’t laugh, you’re in trouble. Wishing you a trouble-free new year!

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

Though I am wishing a very happy New Year, but remember you still have the same old husband!

It’s a new year once again and it’s the same old life you’re living once again. What is there to celebrate?

I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.

This Year I wish you overcome your fear of cockroaches!

Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?[sq]

[sq]Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.[sq]

[sq]This Year may you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote.

May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!

This Year may God inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course.

It’s time for champagne, cake, and balloons. It’s time to celebrate the New Year. Happy New Year.

I wish you finally implement the plan to use stairs instead of elevators at malls and markets this year.

Before I die, I would like to kiss someone at midnight on New Years.

I wish you can resist the temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year!

May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions!

Relationships these days are a joke. It’s like April 1st all year long.

I pray sincerely no sequel is released into your favorite vampire romance this year!

You know how I always dread the whole year? Well this year, I’m going to take it one day at a time.[sq]

[sq]I wish for this year to have lesser disasters, less hate, fewer accidents and loads of love. Happy New Year.

Witty New Year Status To Make Others Lol

God is kind enough to give you a new year but not so kind to give you a new life. Happy new year 2020!

May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.

Life is short and every new year makes it even shorter. Happy new year! You just waved a goodbye to one more year of your short life!

Funny-new-year-status-about-drinking

If you ever see me running, run like hell too. I’m far too lazy to be running without a good reason. Happy New Year!

No resolution for the New Year, as I like my love in the state it is- criticizing and annoying you will go on the high range!

I will quit drinking beer from 2020 new year eve but red wine, Russian vodka and champagne are welcome!

Hope your favorite celebrity or model comes up with an easier to follow diet this New Year.

There are 365 days in a year but only 360 degrees in a circle. What happened to the other 5?

I am (38) years old and still don’t need glasses . . . I just drink straight out of the bottle!

For my new year’s resolution I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Now what I do I do? I haven’t made any plans for New Year’s since the world was going to end.

People treat New Years like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2019 and a beautiful beginning in 2020.

For my new year’s resolution I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses!

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was New Years…Would you let me visit in between holidays?

There have been many times in 2019 when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, and bugged the hell out of you….today I just wanna tell you I plan to continue in 2020!

Every story has an ending but in life… every ending is just a new beginning.

Funny New Year Messages For Friends

Don’t be stupid, it might make you famous. Happy New Year!

All I wish to get drunk and dance with you all night long on this 31st night, Happy New Year!

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

New years are like restart buttons. You think you can push the button and start things all over again but then realize your life is too messed up to be restarted fresh!

For a change, don’t add new things in your life as a new year’s resolution. Instead, do more of what’s already working for you and stop doing things that are time-waste.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

To my friends, I wish peace, love and health. Blah, Blah… screw that. I wish you lot’s of sex, booze, orgasms and hope you win the lotto. Happy new year!

May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.

As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your in-numerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.

Forget the past; remember what it made you, now you are a better person who is ready to make the same mistake one more time. After all, one learns from experiences.

The new year is around the corner. Bring up your drinks and let’s rock this New Year eve party like never before.

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Kim Kardashian, Beyoncé, George Clooney and ME! All the famous wish you a very Happy New Year!

I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year!

This Year may I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly.

I wish Snoopy, your poodle, does not chew telephone chords or your favorite skirt this year. Happy New Year!

No matter how a stronger person you are, there’s still someone who can make you weak. Happy New Year!

Kick everyone’s ass this year except mine. Have a kickass new year.

I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year. Happy New Year!

Accept my cute, little, beautiful, lovely, pure but heartfelt wish for you in this new year Wish you a Happy new year!

Fun, Joy, Happiness, Peace, Love, Luck, Will Come Near, With My Special Wish Happy New Year!

Read More : New Year Facebook Status 2020

This Year I wish there is less snowfall when you wait for Black Friday Deals.

New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!

This Year may god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!

Funny New Year’s Resolutions

Resolution for 2020. No Exception No Disappointment.

My new year’s resolution is to stop lying to myself about making lifestyle changes.

That’s it! I’m not drinking anymore! Not that I’m drinking any less, though, either.

Funny New Year Status & Short Funny Messages

Last month I made a firm resolution to lose 10 pounds. I only have 15 left to go now.

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

I always intended to pay for my sins, but I could never afford it.

I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?

If I can’t stay where I am, and I can’t, then I will put all that I can into the going.

My New Year’s resolution is to stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy.

I would quit drinking Champagne for my New Year’s resolution, but nobody likes a quitter.

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.

I will stop making New Year’s resolutions. I never keep them anyway.

Drink more. Wasn’t it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.

Never again will I ingest quantities of alcohol that surpass my body’s limit.

I will start a blog about my feelings and then bitch about how I don’t have anything interesting to write about.

I will never again eat a jackfruit before going to a public function.

I wanted to quit all my bad habits this year, but I am an optimistic, not a quitter.

I will stop liking my friend’s status only because I like the person who posted it.

Watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

I will not hang around girls – they think I love them and that sucks!

I will try to figure out why I really need ten e-mail addresses.

I will never again wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.

I’m gonna go on a diet and exercise every day. I will definitely lose weight this… oh wait, is that cake?

I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven’t cleaned it more than once in the last year.

I will drive to the fitness center at least once a week to pay my respects.

I will play more computer games. Studies have shown that they improve visual skills, reflexes, and dexterity.

I need to start eating more healthy, but I have to finish all the junk food first so I don’t get tempted.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

I will stop considering other people’s feelings since they obviously don’t care about mine.

This is another Happy New Year and everybody is waiting for celebrating with near and dear ones, here our little contribution to make this new year more entertaining and fabulous! Share these Funny New Year Status to make a bigger smile on your close one’s face!