Funny New Year Status & Short Funny New Year Messages

On this eve of happy new year enjoy and make fun as much as you can! Let us be a part of your fun, take these most Funny New Year Status and short funny messages which are enough to make anyone lough out louder. These funny new year status has a special and magical power that will make your new year celebration more colorful. You may use these funny new year status to update your Whatsapp or Facebook status either can use as private message whatever you like! Also it’s a way to show your friends your funny new year’s resolutions!


Hilarious & Funny New Year Status

I think I need a date…only for New Years…

Like this if you’re “never drinking again.”

My new years resolution is 1920 x 1080.

Dear Luck, can we be friends in 2017 Please..

Currently taking applications for my new years kiss…

I’m hiring a boyfriend for New Years Eve… if I’m single.

For my new year’s resolution I will work with neglected children. (my own)

Are you taking any foreign language classes this year? “Math.”

I have got the best business idea of 2017,,,I am going to start Facebook/ WhatsApp rehab centers throughout country.

My new year’s resolution is to be more optimistic by keeping my cup half-full with either rum, vodka, or whiskey.

I’m a holiday virgin: -Never had a New Years kiss. -Never had a Valentines Day kiss. -Never had a Valentine.

The problem with new years resolutions is that people aim to high, start small like…”I’m not going to fart in church.”

More New Year Status : New Year Whatsapp Status 2017

This year my New Year’s resolution was to stop saying ‘Secrets out!’ after I ejaculate.

I would say happy new year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.

This New Year, may you handle yourself with your brains, but comfort others with your heart.

Short Funny New Year Status

I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.

This Year I wish you overcome your fear of cockroaches!

I wish for this year to have lesser disasters, less hate, less accidents and loads of love. Happy New Year.

This Year may you end up fighting less with your partner over TV remote.

May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!

This Year may god inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course.

It’s time for champagne, cake and balloons. It’s time to celebrate the New Year. Happy New Year.

I wish you finally implement the plan to use stairs instead of elevators at malls and markets this year.

Before I die, I would like to kiss someone at midnight on New Years.

I wish you can resist temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year!

May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions!

Relationships these days are a joke. It’s like April 1st all year long.

I pray sincerely no sequel is released in your favorite vampire romance this year!

Witty New Year Status To Make Others Lol

Hope your favorite celebrity or model comes up with an easier to follow diet this New Year.

There are 365 days in a year but only 360 degrees in a circle. What happened to the other 5?

I am (38) years old and still don’t need glasses . . . I just drink straight out of the bottle!

For my new year’s resolution I will never again take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. Happy new year!

Now what I do I do? I haven’t made any plans for New Year’s since the world was going to end.

People treat New Year’s like some sort of life-changing event. If your life sucked last year, it’s probably still going to suck tomorrow.

Funny New Year Status

I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2016 & a beautiful beginning into 2017.

For my new year’s resolution I will not bore my boss by with the same excuse for taking leaves. I will think of some more excuses!

If your right leg was Christmas & your left leg was New Years…Would you let me visit in between holidays?

There have been many times in 2016, when I have annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you, and bugged the hell out of you….today I just wanna tell you I plan to continue in 2017!

Every story has an ending but in life… every ending is just a new beginning.

I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year.

Funny New Year Messages For Friends

I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year!

This Year I wish you make fewer resolutions to give up drinking. Happy New Year!

This Year may I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly.

New year is the time of the year when you tell stupid people how good they are!

I wish Snoopy, your poodle, does not chew telephone chords or your favorite skirt this year. Happy New Year!

No matter how stronger person you are, there’s still someone who can make you weak. Happy New Year!

Kick everyone’s ass this year except mine. Have a kickass new year.

New Year is not a life-changing event. You just change your resolutions.

I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year. Happy New Year!

Accept my cute, little, beautiful, lovely, pure but heartfelt wish for you in this new year Wish you a Happy new year!

Read More : New Year Facebook Status 2017

Fun, Joy, Happiness,Peace, Love, Luck, Will Come Near, With My Special Wish Happy New Year!

This Year I wish there is less snowfall when you wait for Black Friday Deals.

New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!

This Year may god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!

Funny New Year’s Resolutions

I will stop making New Year’s resolutions. I never keep them anyway.

Drink more. Wasn’t it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So be happy.

Never again will I ingest quantities of alcohol that surpass my body’s limit.

I will start a blog about my feelings and then bitch about how I don’t have anything interesting to write about.

I will never again eat a jack fruit before going to a public function.

I wanted to quit all my bad habits this year, but I am an optimistic, not a quitter.

I will stop liking my friend’s status only because I like the person who posted it.

Watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

I will not hang around girls – they think I love them and that sucks!

I will try to figure out why I really need ten e-mail addresses.

I will never again wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.

I’m gonna go on a diet and exercise everyday. I will definitely loose weight this… oh wait, is that cake?

I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven’t cleaned it more than once in the last year.

I will drive by the fitness center at least once a week to pay my respects.

I will play more computer games. Studies have shown that they improve visual skills, reflexes and dexterity.

I need to start eating more healthy, but I have to finish all the junk food first so I don’t get tempted.

I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard to estimate since I’m not a clock watcher.

I will stop considering other people’s feelings, since they obviously don’t care about mine.

This is another Happy New Year and everybody are waiting for celebrate with near and dear ones, here our little contribution to make this new year more entertaining and fabulous! Share these Funny New Year Status to make a bigger smile on your close ones face!