200+ Funny New Year Status & Captions for 2024

Get ready to kick off this New Year in style because 2024 brings a fresh opportunity for celebration with fun, flirtation, and a touch of humor. Enjoy this eve of a happy new year and make fun as much as you can! Let us be a part of your fun; post these funny new year statuses and short funny messages that are enough to make anyone laugh out louder. These funny new year status has a special and magical power that will make your new year celebration more colorful. Feel free to update your WhatsApp or Facebook status with these witty messages or use them as captions on Instagram! It’s also a fantastic way to share your funny New Year’s resolutions with friends!

Funny New Year Status

New Year is like a restart button. Use it to start things over.

Life always gives you a second chance, it’s called Happy New Year.

New Year, new start, even if you’re an old fart. Happy New Year full of joy and laughter.

Happy New Year 2024! Spoiler alert–it’s going to feel the same.

Successfully wasted 365 days of 2023 and here are another sets to go.

Welcome, 2024! Here’s hoping you can’t be worse than last year.

So excited for you guys to ruin another year of your life.

funny new year wishes

I’m so excited for 2024! I can’t wait to waste another year.

A New Year’s resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

I usually make resolutions when I am drunk, that way I never have to commit it.

I wish you start the New Year by leaving your old bad habits and acquiring new bad ones. Happy New Year!

Happy new year to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

I wish you achieve your dreams this year and then lose them all. Just kidding! I wish you a beautiful new year!

Before I agree to 2024, I need to see some terms & conditions.

This New Year, I wish you chase your dreams less and have fun. Have a very happy new year!

Happy new year. Well done – you have still been alive for several years!

New Year’s Eve means parties and kicking the old year to the curb.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn’t it, of a long line of proven criminals?

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. Happy New Year!

New Year’s Day — now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good

Happy new year! How’d it be if instead of bringing happiness, joy, and peace, new year’s brought cash, fame, and champagne?

We all get the exact same 365 days. The only difference is what we do with them.

Live it up on New Year’s Eve – you’ve got the whole year to live it down!

Take a leap of faith and begin this wondrous new year by believing.

I am in touch with 2023. I saw it going by this evening, waving at me and winking. Happy New Year 2024!

Sorry for all the annoying behavior I did throughout the year. May you give me another chance to do that in the next New Year!

From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Happy New Year!

Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go.

I will no longer wish you more success. You’ve had so much already. It should be mine this year! Happy new year to me!

Out with the old, in with the new” is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting.

It’s time to make old mistakes in different ways. Hurray! Happy New Year!

I saved you from spending a fortune on a New Year’s party – I sent you an invitation for an online party!

I’m gonna order a pizza five minutes before the new year and when they arrive I will say I ordered this a year ago, lol.

Happy New Year from someone who is Adorable, Handsome, and intelligent and wants to see you smiling always.

Every year I make a resolution to Be Myself, but circumstances change me.

I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year!

This year my resolution is to find out who I am.

Stop checking my status. I don’t post my resolutions here.

May the happiness you get this year become bigger than your weight…… Happy New Year!

Read books instead of reading my status! Happy new year.

Flip a coin… If the head comes, I am yours, if the tail comes then you are mine. happy new year

My New Year’s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.

You can do anything, but not everything – Happy New Year 2024.

My wish is that this year you fulfill your New Year’s resolution especially the ones you made at the beginning of last year. Happy New Year!

If nothing changes this New Year to your liking, just change your habit of complaining!

My New Year’s resolution is to stop procrastinating. But I’ll wait until tomorrow to start.

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account.

I will start working with neglected children – my own.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop feeling guilty about not keeping last year’s resolution.

I read nonfiction, but I’d rather write humor. I am not perfect, nor am I consistent. I am a work in progress.

May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!

Many people look forward to the New Year for a new start on old habits.

Go ahead make a resolution. It’s not as complicated as pregnancy.

New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies that don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.

Read: Happy New Year Status & Captions 2024

Sarcastic New Year Captions

Save water, drink champagne.

This year I’m going to tell more people to fu*k off.

Dear 2023, I’m glad you’re Over. Welcome, 2024!

New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.

You will be a little bit older, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. Happy New Year!

I put my phone in airplane mode, but it’s not flying.

Life is funny. If you don’t laugh, you’re in trouble. Wishing you a trouble-free new year!

Drink more. Wasn’t it Benjamin Franklin who said, beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be

I wanted to quit all my bad habits this year, but I am optimistic, not a quitter.

I will never again wet the bed and blame it on my younger brother.

I’m gonna go on a diet and exercise every day. I will definitely lose weight this… oh wait, is that cake?

I wish you end up without a funny face in group photos this year.

If New Year parties were dreams, I would never want to wake up.

I promise to clean my room once a week even though I haven’t cleaned it more than once in the last year.

I will stop liking my friend’s status only because I like the person who posted it.

Watch more TV. It’s very educational. Catch up on all those programs you missed down the years.

I will not hang around girls – they think I love them and that sucks!

I will try to figure out why I really need ten e-mail addresses.

Many years ago, I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since.

Though I am wishing you a very happy New Year, but remember you still have the same old husband!

It’s a new year once again and it’s the same old life you’re living once again. What is there to celebrate?

Relationships these days are a joke. It’s like April 1st all year long.

I pray sincerely no sequel is released into your favorite vampire romance this year!

new year funny status

This Year I wish you overcome your fear of cockroaches!

Isn’t it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?[sq]

[sq]This Year may you end up fighting less with your partner over the TV remote.

May all your weight loss aspirations be fulfilled in the New Year!

This Year may God inspire you to finally enroll in that anger management course.

It’s time for champagne, cake, and balloons. It’s time to celebrate the New Year. Happy New Year.

I wish you finally implement the plan to use stairs instead of elevators at malls and markets this year.

Before I die, I would like to kiss someone at midnight on New Year.

I wish you can resist the temptation to gorge on burgers during snack breaks. Happy New Year!

You know how I always dread the whole year? Well this year, I’m going to take it one day at a time.[sq]

[sq]I wish for this year to have lesser disasters, less hate, fewer accidents, and loads of love. Happy New Year.

Funny New Year Wishes

I can’t wait to control-alt-delete 2023 and start anew.

The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot.

I’m still the same person I was last year —now I’m just hungover.

My new year’s resolution is 1920 x 1080.

Currently taking applications for my new Year’s kiss…

Time to pour the merlot and let the stressful year go.

Dear Luck… Can we be friends in 2024?

I’m so excited for 2024! Can’t wait to waste another year.

I like the dreams of the future better than the history of the past.

Dear 2024, make sure you don’t come up with temporary people.

It’s a new year already? I was just getting used to the old one!

I hope one of your New Year’s resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year’s photos.

I don’t have a new year’s resolution you don’t need that crap when you’re perfect.

Funny New Year Wishes Status

I hope this year ends up with your smiling selfie to see on the Facebook posts. Wish you a bright and joyful New Year!

Thanks for not laughing at my absurdly unattainable New Year’s resolutions.

The first rule of 2024. never talk about 2023.

Happy New Year! Let’s eat, drink, and be merry – for tomorrow we diet!

My new year’s resolution? I’ll probably keep it at 1280 x 1024 like always. thanks for asking.

Whatever it is you’re scared of doing, do it. Make your mistakes next year and forever.

No need for resolutions to get in shape this year. Round is a shape, and you’re perfectly it. Happy New Year!

Never tell your resolution beforehand, or it’s twice as onerous a duty.

My New Year’s resolution is to stop hanging around people who ask me about my New Year’s resolution.

I don’t have a new year resolution – you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

My New Year’s resolution is to dream more. I guess that means I’ll need to sleep a lot.

Last month I made a firm resolution to lose 10 pounds. I only have 15 left to go now.

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

I know. I’m lazy. But I made myself a New Years’ resolution that I would write myself something really special. Which means I have ’til December, right?

If I can’t stay where I am, and I can’t, then I will put all that I can into the going.

My New Year’s resolution is to stick to a good workout plan that will keep me healthy and happy.

I would quit drinking Champagne for my New Year’s resolution, but nobody likes a quitter.

New Year’s Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.

Resolve to keep happy, and your joy and you shall form an invincible host against difficulties.

God is kind enough to give you a new year but not so kind to give you a new life. Happy new year 2024!

Today at the gym I asked a girl what her new year’s resolution is, She said “F*** you” so I’m pretty excited for 2024.

What’s your plan for 31st Night? mine is to check all bookmarks I added to my browser in the year 2023.

Dear God, my prayer for 2024 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don’t mix these up like you did this year.

Funny New Year Facebook Status

New Year’s is the time to forget all your fears, drink a few beers, leave behind all your tears!

Welcome, New Year! Just be sure you wipe your feet at the door, and don’t walk all over me like last year did.

This year, I resolve to make no mistakes. LOL!

Happy New Year! Let’s pop the cork and start breaking the rules!

Cheers to a new year! Time to get our butts in gear.


In the New Year, let’s run around together. Literally. We need to lose weight.

It’s New Year’s! Let’s celebrate until the champagne runs over our chins and confetti is stuck in our hair.

Time flies, but you’re the pilot. Steer it wherever you wanna go, just don’t crash. Happy New Year!

Be careful who you trust, the devil was once an angel. Happy New Year.

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

It’s a new year, but with the same old problems. Oh, well, at least we’re alive. For now.

I worked long and hard all year, and I can now officially say that I’ve managed to waste 365 days successfully. Happy New Year!

In 2024 if you see light at the end of the tunnel, be sure it’s not a train headed straight for you.

New Year’s: the societal illusion of a clean slate that we’re expected to kick off by getting absolutely wasted. Happy New Year!

Read: New Year Whatsapp Status 2024

Funny New Year Whatsapp Status

Where can you find comedians on New Year’s Eve? Waiting for the punch line.

Wise, kind, gentle, generous, sexy. But enough about me here’s to you. Happy New Year!

An optimist stays up till midnight to see the New Year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves.

There is something beautiful about having the chance to rewrite your future.

I’m going to stay up late this New Year’s Eve—not to ring in the New Year, but to make sure this one leaves.

New Year’s is just a holiday created by calendar companies who don’t want you reusing last year’s calendar.

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to.

Money alone won’t make you happy. You’ve got to own it. Happy New Year!

New year is the time of the year when you tell stupid people how good they are!

I have got the best business idea for 2024, I’m going to start Facebook and WhatsApp rehab centers throughout the country.

May this New Year bring actual change in you – not recurrence of old habits in a new package.

I would say Happy New Year but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder.

This New Year, may you handle yourself with your brains, but comfort others with your heart.

The problem with new years resolutions is that people aim too high, start small like…”I’m not going to fart in church.”

I wanna kiss you on December 31st from 11:59 pm to 12:01 am, so I can have an amazing ending to 2023 & a beautiful beginning into 2024!

Funny New Year Wishes For Friends

Thanks for being a partner in crime all through the year.

May your dreams get fulfilled as well as your bills. Best of luck with the New Year, dear.

Dream small, and you can achieve it all. It’s the only wish that may come true for the New Year!

Wishing you a new year filled with all your favorite things: sequins, sarcasm, and shenanigans.

Have a carefree New Year’s Eve and a hangover-free New Year’s Day.

This is the year to annoy you, be prepared for it will not be easy for you. Anyway, happy New Year 2024!

funny new year wishes for friends

I wish you can evade your boss successfully while using instant messengers at the workplace this year!

New Year’s is the perfect opportunity to forget your fears with the help of a few beers. Wishing you a wonderful New Year — Cheers!

Happy New Year! I promise you, this year will be exactly the same as the last, you’ll just be a little older. Cheers!

Don’t be stupid, it might make you famous. Happy New Year!

All I wish to get drunk and dance with you all night long on this 31st night, Happy New Year!

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.

They say out with the old and in with the new, but I’m not letting go of old friends like you.

I wish this year God help all my friends gain 10 pounds so I look skinnier.

Wishing you a new year full of health, wealth, and prosperity. We’ll both need it.

The new year stands before us, like a chapter in a book, waiting to be written. We can help write that story by setting goals.

Thanks for being my best friend. I can’t wait to see what shenanigans we get up to in 2024.

We’ll either tackle our dreams or end up in a wreck – either way, let’s meet the new year head-on.

It’s time to celebrate all the incredible things we did this year; let’s toast to us, friend. Happy New Year!

To my friends, I wish peace, love, and health. Blah, Blah… screw that. I wish you lot’s of s*ex, booze, orgasms and hope you win the lotto. Happy new year!

May this New Year bring you more problems, more tears, and more pains. Don’t get me wrong. I just want you to be a stronger person.

As the clock strikes twelve, may you have the stamina to wish all of your in-numerous Facebook Friends a Happy New Year.

This Year may I wish you finally learn how to use your Smartphone properly.

I wish Snoopy, your poodle, does not chew telephone chords or your favorite skirt this year. Happy New Year!

No matter how stronger a person you are, there’s still someone who can make you weak. Happy New Year!

Kick everyone’s ass this year except mine. Have a kickass new year.

Finally, I have one more year to annoy you and freak the hell out of you. Be prepared to tolerate me. Anyways, happy new year friend!

Forget the past; remember what it made you, now you are a better person who is ready to make the same mistake one more time. After all, one learns from experiences.

The new year is around the corner. Bring up your drinks and let’s rock this New Year’s Eve party like never before.

Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Kim Kardashian, Beyoncé, George Clooney, and ME! All the famous wish you a very Happy New Year!

I wish your dog becomes intelligent to wash muddy legs before running on carpets this year. Happy New Year!

I wish you can maintain your resolution to quit smoking a few days more this new year. Happy New Year!

Accept my cute, little, beautiful, lovely, pure but heartfelt wish for you in this new year Wish you a Happy new year!

Fun, Joy, Happiness, Peace, Love, Luck, Will Come Near, With My Special Wish Happy New Year!

Hope Smiles from the threshold of the year to come, Whispering ‘it will be happier.

Hope 2024 is good for you. If it treats you as well as you’ve treated me, you’ll be all right.

This Year I wish there is less snowfall when you wait for Black Friday Deals.

This Year may god motivate you to indulge less in office gossips. Happy New Year!

Funny New Year Quotes

First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Youth is when you’re allowed to stay up late on New Year’s Eve. Middle age is when you’re forced to. – Bill Vaughan

Every New Year’s I have the same question: ‘How did I get home? – Melanie White

Out with the old, in with the new’ is a fitting expression for a holiday that is based on vomiting. – Andy Borowitz

I never worry about being driven to drink; I just worry about being driven home. – W. C. Fields

I would say ‘Happy New Year,’ but it’s not happy; it’s exactly the same as last year except colder. – Robert Clark

Many years ago, I resolved never to bother with New Year’s resolutions, and I’ve stuck with it ever since. – Dave Beard

He who breaks a resolution is a weakling; he who makes one is a fool. – Farquhar McGillivray Knowles

If you want an interesting party, combine cocktails and a fresh box of crayons for everyone. – Robert Fulghum

Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one. – Brad Paisley

Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they have no account. – Oscar Wilde

It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets. – William Thomas

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I didn’t become a better person. – Anonymous

My December is typically one big, sweaty ‘wintry mix’ blur, not a punch-laden, heartwarming mixer. – Emily Weiss

When December comes, can ‘The Nutcracker’ be far behind? No, it can’t, not in America, anyway. – Robert Gottlieb

I’m a little bit older, a little bit wiser, a little bit rounder, but still none the wiser. – Robert Paul

This New Year’s I was going to make a resolution never to be late again, but I didn’t wake up until January 2. – Melanie White

Deep breaths are very helpful at shallow parties. – Barbara Walters

Read: New Year Facebook Status and Captions

Another Happy New Year is upon us, and everyone eagerly awaits celebrating with their near and dear ones. Here’s our contribution to making this New Year even more entertaining and fabulous for you and your loved ones! Share this Funny New Year Status to bring bigger smiles to the faces of your dear ones. You can post it on Facebook or Instagram along with your photos. Alternatively, text your friends and family a funny New Year wish to make them laugh out loud.