Funniest WhatsApp Status – Short & Funny Quotes for WhatsApp

Funniest WhatsApp Status: It seems you’re looking for funny status for WhatsApp to post on your Whatsapp profile with humor. Here we have the best and hilarious collection of funniest Whatsapp status for you, just check them out! This is the best ever post completely overloaded by funny Whatsapp status, short funny quotes, and messages that are mostly liked by people around the world. Blow your mind with these funniest Whatsapp statuses! Choose your one from best of best and very cute to funniest status for WhatsApp!

Funniest WhatsApp Status

Dear problems… Please give me some discount… I’m your regular customer.

Life is too short. Don’t waste it removing pen drive safely.

If I won the award for laziness, I would send somebody to pick it up for me.

I like when you smile, but I love it when I’m the reason.

Hey, I’ll be back in five minutes. If I’m not, just read this message again.

Cute and Funny Whatsapp Status

Great power comes with great electricity bills.

I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.

If I ever need a heart transplant, I’d want my ex’s. It’s never been used.

It’s better to fail than to cheat but its better to cheat than to repeat.

I’m too shy at first but once I’m comfortable with you, get ready for some crazy shit.

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

I follow the quote, “Always be true to yourself” because I only lie to others!

Enjoy your life–there’s is plenty of time to be dead.

I’ve been diagnosed with “awesomeness.” You might want to get checked, but I doubt you caught it.

Whenever I find key to success, someone changes the lock.

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I have a lot of jokes about unemployed people but none of them work.

All my life a thought air was free. Until I bought a bag of chips.

If people are talking behind your back, that’s a good time to fart.

Funniest One-liner Whatsapp Status

Silent people have the craziest minds.

Rules are made to be broken.

If you can’t convince them, confuse them!

Even fools seem smart when they are quiet.

Take my advice — I’m not using it.

I need 6 months’ vacation, twice a year.

The most important Shareholder in your life is you.

Marriage means silent suicide.

I am not stubborn, I am just always right.

Life is short smile while you still have teeth.

Is it vodka o’clock yet?

Marriage is the main cause of divorce.

Do you still hate me? I don’t care!

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.

May You Need : 150+ Funny Status & Captions

Yeah you’re really pretty, pretty stupid.

Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy.

You have the perfect face for radio.

Funniest WhatsApp Status In English

Be nice to nerds, they will be your boss one day.

Two wrongs don’t make a right, take your parents as an example.

You smell like hidden motives, get away from me.

If I wanted to kill myself I’d climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Of course I talk to myself! Sometimes I need expert advice.

Funny Whatsapp Status In English

The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.

My drug test came back negative. My dealer sure has some explaining to do.

Stop thinking too much, it’s all right not to know all the answers.

If you smile when no one is around, you really mean it?

As long as there are tests, there will be prayers in schools.

When everything’s coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.

I fell in love at first sight. I should have looked twice.

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Everyone wants to park their vehicles in shade but no one wants to grow trees.

Any room is a panic room if you’ve lost your phone in it.

It must be difficult to post inspirational status when your blood type is B Negative.

Funniest WhatsApp Status Message

Zombies are looking for brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.

Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship’s kitchen.

People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed.

Employee of the month is a good example of how somebody can be both a winner and a loser at the same time.

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

On the internet you can be anything you want, it’s strange that so many people choose to be stupid.

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters… But if I take a single one of her dresses, suddenly “we need to talk.”

For you men who think a woman’s place is in the kitchen, remember that’s where the knives are kept

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.”

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Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that.

The police called to say one of my friends escaped from a mental hospital. Which one of you crazies got out and where should I pick you up?

Funniest WhatsApp Status Quotes

Life is onetime offers use it well.

I’m cool but global warming made me hot.

I’m on a whiskey diet…I’ve lost three days already.

Follow your heart but take your brain with you.

A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s: She changes it more often.

Short & Funny Quotes for Whatsapp

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.

80% of boys have a girlfriend and rest have a brain.

Apparently I snore so loudly that it scares everyone in the car I’m driving.

Well I could agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

My wallet is like onion, opening it makes me cry.

If I’d shot you sooner, I’d be out of jail by now.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

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Childhood is like being drunk, everyone remembers what you did, except you.

I was addicted to the hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.

I enjoy when people show Attitude to me coz it shows that they need an Attitude to impress me!

These funny statuses is a great way to remove boredom in no time. Nothing can make you laugh like sharing a few hilarious jokes with your closest friends. We hope you liked our present wide collection of funny status messages. Now, post on Whatsapp to cheer up your friends and make their day shine brighter.