Hilarious Sarcastic Status, Messages and Short Sarcastic Quotes

We feel glad to show the best hilarious sarcastic status and short sarcastic quotes at this post to make you smile and give some different feelings. This post contains most tricky and hilarious sarcastic status and short quotes which can bound anyone with pretty smile. Check our the best sarcastic status and short sarcastic quotes from our compilation.

Hilarious Sarcastic Status For Facebook Messages

I love my life, but it just wants to be friends.

Don’t take life too seriously, you won’t get out alive.

A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking.

I never admit or deny anything it makes things more interesting.

If something goes wrong at the office, blame the guy who can’t speak English.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

Oh… Sorry… Did you mistake me for someone who cares?

People say that laughter is the best medicine…my face must be curing the world!

Think I’m Sarcastic? Watch Me Pretend To Care!

Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1-2.

It takes patience to listen. it takes skill to pretend you’re listening.

I wonder where my brother is, his lunch is getting all cold and eaten.

Even people who are good for nothing can bring smile on your face, when pushed down the stairs.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Avoid arguments about the toilet seat…use the sink.

I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!

Best Sarcastic Status For Whatsapp Status

If a stranger offers you a piece of candy…take two…

My internet is so slow, it’s just faster to drive to the Google headquarters and ask them shit in person.

My IQ came back negative.

The best things in life are free *plus shipping and handling*.

Remember, everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

Strong people don’t put others down. They lift them up and slam them on the ground for maximum damage.

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software…it’s called #Monday, please fix it.

For More Fun : Double Meaning Status

Gods are fragile things, they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. – Chapman Cohen

Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

I’m Only Here For The Free Food.

Suicide: Mans way of telling God – You can’t fire me, I quit.

Me: What kind of font is this?

We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.

I didn’t climb to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.

Short Sarcastic Status For Facebook Whatsapp

No Déjà vu please… I Don’t want to go through that again.

Waitress: Do u have any questions about the menu?

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

I’m a prince in Lagos, Nigeria and I want you to help me move $500 million out of the country.

There is no “me” in team. No, wait, yes there is!

Don’t regret doing things, regret getting caught.

Read More: Funny Short Clever Quotes and Status

When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90 % of their body… Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts.

I hate when I am about to hug someone really sexy and my face hits the mirror.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Facebook is telling me to “reconnect” with my brother…hmmm, I see him everyday.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue. – Dilbert

As the joker said, if you are good at something why do it for free.

Funny Sarcastic Status Messages For Whatsapp

Congratulations, If you press the elevator button three times it goes into hurry mode – really.

Going to temple/church/mosque doesn’t make you a human, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, gross, godless, evil stuff and I want it.

I wasn’t lying, I was just writing fiction with my mouth.

Upgrade your weekend: Take Monday Off.

I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

I’m not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell?

I’m smiling. This should scare you.

It takes two to lie… One to lie and one to listen.

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun.

Never tell your problems to anyone…20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.

Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.

Read More: Funny Quotes for Whatsapp

Please don’t eat me! I have a wife and kids… Eat them!

Shut up, will you? Oh, I’m sorry, Your Highness, should I go get you your coffee and tea now?

The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don’t have to mow it.

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else look bad. And I’m tired of making other people feel good about themselves!

WHY GOD? WHY ONLY ME? WHY YOU ARE DOING THIS TO ME… Didn’t we had a deal that I never get old.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

You can’t be a real country unless you have a BEER and an airline – it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a BEER.


Dear Lord: The gods have been good to me. For the first time in my life, everything is absolutely perfect just the way it is. So here’s the deal: You freeze everything the way it is, and I won’t ask for anything more. If that is OK, please give me absolutely no sign. OK, deal. In gratitude, I present you this offering of cookies and milk. If you want me to eat them for you, give me no sign. Thy will be done.

For More Funny Status Read Funny Dirty Status