Humor Status Quotes for Facebook And Whatsapp

Humor Quotes Status

Sometime we are getting bored in our daily life than it wants to recreation. For this think here we listed best humor status quotes in a collection, which is very helpful to bring your smile. Look through the short Humor quotes which can support you to enjoy your time with friends. Moreover you can share the Humor Quotes on Whatsapp, Facebook and express your joys.

Humor Status Quotes For Whatsapp

Today morning when i was driving my Ferrari alarm woke me up.

Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I’m not sure about the universe.

I promise i will be a better person tomorrow 😉

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did–in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car. – Bob Monkhouse

When people say “Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too”. Damn Right! What good is cake if you can’t eat it?

I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet service to see who they really are. — Will Ferrell

Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself & one’s fellow human beings. – Maya Angelou

Humor is a reminder that no matter how high the throne one sits on, one sits on one’s bottom. -Taki

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. -Mark Twain

A day without laughter is a day wasted. -Charlie Chaplin

Also Read : Funny Status Messages

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back. -Oscar Wilde

When people say while watching a film, “did ya see that?” No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor!

I changed my password everywhere to ‘incorrect.’ That way when I forget it, it always reminds me, ‘Your password is incorrect’.

I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough. — Russell Brand

Short Humor Quotes For Facebook Post

Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.

I’m pretty sure the best thing about Facebook is the ability to read other people’s fights.

A good laugh makes any interview, or any conversation, so much better. – Barbara Walters

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn. -Irvin S. Cobb

Come to my Facebook profile, write on my wall : i’ll love you.

Humor must not professedly teach, and it must not professedly preach, but it must do both if it would live forever. – Mark Twain

Also Read : Funny Jokes for Facebook

LIKE if you have that one friend that Laughs at everything. Even when it’s not funny.

The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage. -Mark Russell.

People who ask “Can I ask you a question?”… Didn’t give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have.

I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. — Rita Rudner

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. -W. C. Fields

You love flowers, but you cut them. You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I’m scared!

When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks “Has the bus come yet?” If the bus came, would I be standing here???

Humorous Status Updates

I was standing in the park wondering why frisbees got bigger as they get closer. Then it hit me.

Alcohol, what’s that? It’s not in my vodkabulary, but let me check in whiskypedia.

Dear Math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I’m tired of solving them for you.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. -Mahatma Gandhi

Don’t worry if plan A fails, there are 25 more letters in the alphabet.

When the past comes knocking, don’t answer. It has nothing new to tell you.

No mind is thoroughly well organized that is deficient in a sense of humor. – Samuel Taylor Coleridge

More : 100 Funny Status For Whatsapp and Facebook

When you fall, I will be there to catch you – With love, the floor.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide. -Mahatma Gandhi

Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time. -Steven Wright

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you’ll be disconnected!